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Nerissa ♥
20 July 2020 @ 10:19 pm





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Nerissa ♥
15 September 2018 @ 05:08 pm


I’m feeling it again.

I don’t know what happened but when this week started, I felt a shift on my mood and I knew, I knew it was going to happen again.

That feeling of listlessness.

I felt like it came at a bad timing, with Shinhwa’s last week of promotions. I’ve been doing quite well weeks before. I don’t know what happened. I usually feel this way around summer, when the temperature is off the charts and it’s too freakin’ hot to do anything that requires movement.

Is it the dreary weather? The storm (please please please go away)? My lack of company? Or that I don’t want company? Is it the lost of someone? Other people’s Instagram-worthy happiness? I don’t know. I’m not feeling particularly envious of anyone. I don’t think I’m sad. But I’m pretty sure I’m not exactly high-spirited.

Anyway, I just feel like posting this in hopes mahimasmasan ako.

It will pass. It always does. I just have to remember to live with a grateful heart.

It will pass. 

 
 
Nerissa ♥
26 July 2016 @ 07:38 pm
I just turned 30.
I’m still a fan of Shinhwa.
I’m not going to get married any time soon.
It’s a wonderful surprise how much Kyra has changed my family’s lives.
I’m honestly worried about a lot of things – some, beyond my control.
I’m still a homebody.
I’m thinking of a new hobby I can do and stick with more than 6 months.
I’m too selfish to have a family of my own.
I should seriously learn Korean.
I plan to be a lot more sociable (but it’s so hard!)
I have no intention to learn how to drive.
I’m trying not to be so short tempered.
I’m making short stories.
I’m still scared of heights.
I’m still a fan of purple, dramas and books.
I care too much.
I worry about my family all the time.
I worry about the world.
I still procrastinate.
I have successfully made my family care about kpop.
They know more idol groups than I do.
I’m not giving up on my dream of watching Clazziquai perform live.
I still pray the same prayer I’ve been praying since I was 9.
I’m more superstitious than I previously thought.
I have less tolerance for bullshit as I grow older.
I need to learn to let go.
I gave up on the dream of getting a tattoo.
I am still naïve about a lot of things.
I’ve learned to love and accept myself better.
I still love love.
 
 
Current Mood: thankfulthankful
 
 
Nerissa ♥
18 April 2016 @ 08:03 pm
I haven't posted about it here before I went to Korea and watch the concert, but my condolences were all over twitter and facebook. But LJ has been a big part of my public confession of how much I love Goguma, so I wanted to post here.

Goguma has passed away last February.

If the news was so heartbreaking to me, it must have been worse for Dongwan and his mother. Goguma had been Dongwan's best friend and constant companion for 13 years. I said this before, Dongwan's relationship to Goguma was his longest relationship ever. His broken-hearted voice when he mentioned Dongwan's passing on a radio show is not something I'll soon forget.

I remember seeing a decade back a picture of Dongwan holding a wee little brown puppy and jokingly said to my friends that for my fanfic, this little puppy would be ours. I found out it was actually Dongwan's pet dog.

We mourn for Goguma because he has been more than Dongwan's pet. He has been THE dog of Shinhwa. We mourn for his loss because he represented so much more than just being a pet. He reminded us what kind of people the members are as they took care of him.


It's so bittersweet to watch I Live Alone with all the episodes he was in. But eventually it will just be sweet, a remembrance of a dog loved and will never be forgotten.
 
 
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: don't cry - shinhwa
 
 
Nerissa ♥
06 April 2016 @ 04:00 pm


I didn't know what compelled us to book another March trip to see Shinhwa other than an intense desire to see them again after watching WE concert. Meg and I knew we couldn't go to the encore concert, nor did we like the idea of a hot trip to Korea during August. The closest we could see them together would be March 2016 and on the next seat sale, a few months after WE concert, we booked a flight.



We stayed in Korea for 2 weeks and for our last weekend, we watched Shinhwa's HERO concert. It was a concert celebrating their 18th anniversary, for they debuted March 24th of 1998. Since they didn't release an album, we had a feeling they would sing a lot of old songs - which made me happy! It was something I was jealous of people who watched WE encore concert. I got to watch them sing a lot of old songs! I think the biggest surprise for me was them singing Endless Love as their opening song. I like that they can still surprise us with their setlist, given the numerous amount of songs they had recorded in their 18 years together.



I was so happy they performed Crazy, they don't perform it as much as Angel. That was a great surprise. The song I really, seriously, wanted to hear was How Do I Say and I got my wish. I couldn't have 2gether 4ever (seriously, WE encore concert watchers were so lucky) but listening to How Do I Say and Stories That We Haven't Told had me over the moon.



You think their voices would have deteriorated as they grew older but that isn't the case. I had high praises on their concert last year, and it's no different this time around. Even better, actually. I made a post on my facebook not long after the concert about how sad I would be not to see them for their encore. The biggest reason for that is because nothing, absolutely nothing, could be better than hearing them live. Not a fancam, DVD, audio disc could do justice. I told Meg unnie during the concert, "I feel like they're hugging me with their voices." Especially during their ballads. I felt it deep within my soul.



Not everyone understands a trip that revolves more around a concert than anything else, I get it. But you see, I'm a very homey person, I enjoy the comfort of my own home more than anywhere else. I travel the world through books and dramas. So having a passion for something, or someone in my case, that can drive me out the door is not something to be taken for granted. Thank you for a beautiful 18 years of togetherness. Thank you that for the past 12 years of happiness. Cheers to more years together!
 
 
Current Mood: enthralledenthralled
Current Music: Breathin' by Shinhwa
 
 
 
Nerissa ♥
31 January 2016 @ 03:23 pm
"Make a wish!" he exclaimed. "There they are - shooting stars."
I laughed. "Silly. Those are fireflies."
"Damn it, Nan. Obviously. Use your damn imagination. Go make a wish. Or wishes. There's a lot of those fuckers out there."
I laughed again. "Damn it, Lyle. Watch your language."
"Damn it. Just make a fuckin' wish."
I looked at Lyle, who looked too serious for such a silly thing. It made me worry, but I knew he wouldn't talk about it. So at that moment, I did what he asked. I looked at the fireflies, dancing a few feet away from us, closed my eyes, and made a wish. A few minutes had passed when I opened my eyes and looked at him. "It's your turn," I softly said.
He continued to look at the fireflies, with their ethereal glow. "I have you. Wishing for more is just greedy."




(very short story I wrote last year on an old receipt during a short blackout)
 
 
Nerissa ♥


I think my eternal love for Anne Shirley is no secret. From Anne of Green Gablesto her daughter Rilla of Ingleside, I read them more times than the combined number of other books I had read. My parents, who take general cleaning very seriously, had once thrown away all the books of my tween years. I managed to save the series from the plastic bags of teenage dreams and memories - there were a lot of them in our house, I'm one of six siblings. I couldn't save my old Shinhwa collection but that was easier to gather back. My Anne Shirley series paperback edition wasn't! The amount of tears when I found out it was thrown away and the amount of tears when I managed to save it will make dramatic Anne Shirley proud. They were all that I managed to save. I was okay with that.

I'd been reading the series again lately. On a whim, I tried looking for the anime version of Anne of Green Gables on YouTube. The anime was actually the reason I bought the book, then eventually the whole series. I saw an interesting web series instead - Green Gables Fables.

The season one was a modern adaptation to Anne of Green Gables, where Anne was video blogging the chronicles in her life. The second season (currently airing) is based on Anne of The Island. It was adorable. The actors playing Gilbert and Anne were impressive. I was very happy to have found this. There was this particular Q&A video on the actors that I liked so much. It was where Tanner (who played Gilbert) was talking about his character. He said,

"There's a line in the third book where she (Anne) is like trying to get him away from the subject of telling her how he feels and there's this one line, "And Gilbert was not to be sidetracked."And (he) just goes into it and I think that's just the perfect explanation of their relationship."

It was stunning how he managed to sum up Gilbert Blythe in a way I couldn't. AND A LINE FROM THE BOOK NO LESS. It was so true. SO TRUE. Gilbert has been incredibly understanding, patient and proud of everything Anne had accomplished even before they became friends. It was also a beautiful glimpse of Tanner, on how invested he was to learn and be his character.

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Anne,

"When you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worthwhile."