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Nerissa ♥
20 July 2020 @ 10:19 pm





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Nerissa ♥
19 January 2018 @ 08:49 pm

Hello 2018!

If you’ve been following me on twitter, I have mentioned quite a lot about how I got into this weird state of detachment. I wanted to do nothing. I wanted to feel nothing. I should have felt bored but… nothing. Thankfully, that gradually went away and I was doing pretty well during the holidays and for the first time in three years, my family was complete during Christmas and New Year. It was nice to celebrate a New Year feeling optimistic.

This is turning out to be quite a thrilling year. First and important event of this month – Meg and Chard’s wedding! Second, and just as important, Saoirse’s birthday. Both events are something my friends and I will be celebrating in a few days.

Another exciting news is, Shinhwa’s 20th anniversary celebration! Which apparently will be happening all throughout the year. This year’s theme is ALL YOUR 2018. Or as fans call it, all our money. Ha! They finally announced that there’s going to be a fan meeting on the 24th, on their actual 20th anniversary. I’m really excited to go. Though I haven’t booked yet because I got burned from the lack of concert last year. I’m actually stressing what dates to get, because my family has no definite plans as of now for Holy Week.

I was asked if I could skip this March trip but I don’t want to. This is something I’ve thought a lot since they celebrated their 10th anniversary and then made a promise to myself and essentially planned by the time they celebrated their public return and created Shinhwa Company.

I’m almost in awe I actually am an active fan of a group for more than a decade. Cheers to all my SHCJ friends from the very beginning. Cheers to us, friends. We’re still here. They’re still here. Still waving orange.

Another exciting news, CELINE DION IS COMING TO MANILA FOR THE FIRST TIME! I’m screaming in joy! The concert date is on my mother’s birthday and my birthday is the day after. So we’re both watching the concert and plan to have a blast on our special days.

There’s a bunch more events happening and happened this January alone, and I had to make decisions what to do and who to meet. I wish I could do and meet them all, but I’m hoping that there will be other chances.

May 2018 continue to deliver happiness!

 
 
Current Music: When I Saw You (Hwayugi OST) - Bumkey
 
 
Nerissa ♥
28 July 2017 @ 07:42 pm

31.
I went past 30. YAAASSSS.


To be quite honest, I spend a good deal of my birthday month feeling miserable. I couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why I was feeling so negative all the time. I felt like it was a culmination of things that I was having difficulty accepting. There were some moments in my birthday month that were beyond my control. But the real kicker was, I couldn’t accept that I can’t even control my own damn feelings.


So rather than be destructive, I did… nothing. I waited for my monthly visit to be over, I didn’t visit Twitter (strangely, where I was more volatile at), didn’t check my emails, did not watch anything that would trigger my temper, stopped watching dramas and variety shows that are not music related, watched the first few episodes of Ouran Highschool Host Club, read a bunch of trashy books (and find a nice one among them. It’s true! Don’t judge the book by its cover. And its book series that are of DNF variety.), went out with the girls whenever I could.


So yeah. I feel like my LJ is such a downer, given that every thing I post are sucks the joy in everything. But this is cathartic for me. Sorry.


But also, thank you to the birthday greetings. And to friends and family who made my actual birthday the best.
 
 
Nerissa ♥
19 April 2017 @ 12:50 am
Going to Korea last March and attending Eric's Bibigo fansign event, Meg and I had this feeling like things were going to be quite different after seeing him this time around. Less than a month later, this letter was posted on Shinhwa Company facebook page

Hello, this is SHINHWA ERIC.

I met a long life caring friend of mine, and I will be having a quiet and respectful marriage with my family and friends in a church on July 1, 2017.

I received so much love from SHINHWACHANGJO fans as being a member of SHINHWA for 19 years, and I will promise to work harder with a settled mind for all the love you gave.

We will always appreciate,
Respect and take care of each other

Thank you.


And I can't find the word best to describe how I feel. I felt a sense of loss. Change. Happiness. Heartbreak.

It felt like hearing your big brother announce his marriage and you know this announcement is going to change everything. That bend in the road where you and your family have to adjust and settle into this new dynamic, happy for him yet a little confused while he and his beloved are adjusting in an elated manner.

Also, it's just a little hard to bear every time something monumental happens to Shinhwa; I'm forced to evaluate my own life - of what I have and what I lack.

It might seem ridiculous to have mixed emotions over someone’s marriage. It’s not the marriage news that got me, really. I think what makes me sad, and what made me cry, was the fact that a beginning of something meant the end of something. OTP accounts shut down, usernames changed, display pictures changed. Some jokes might seem rude now. I understand that this is to show respect but damn. Damn. I feel like some of the sparkle that came with Shinhwa and being Shinhwa Changjo dissipated quite a lot. That was harder to accept. I think this moment will be poignant (or silly, you pick) as time passes, when every thing has settled into new places. But for now though, I'll allow myself to... not get it together.

My 18 year old self’s heartbreak aside, I am genuinely happy for Eric and Na Hye Mi. And to any Shinhwa member getting married in the future.
 
 
Current Mood: soresore
Current Music: Wonder - Standing Egg
 
 
Nerissa ♥
23 March 2017 @ 10:34 pm


Going to Korea with my travel buddy @parkchoongjae tomorrow. My oldest sister and younger sis are heading to South Korea as well, and I'll be meeting them there tomorrow.

I haven't planned anything this year, my older sister did most of the itinerary. She finds it fun while I find it exhausting and makes me a nervous-wreck if something goes wrong with anything I planned. 

I booked with two purpose in mind. One, travelling with my sisters (and that includes my Meg unnie) and two, hoping for a Shinhwa anniversary concert. There's none this year (I still can't believe it!) so there goes one of my purpose. Fortunately, Eric is having an autograph signing event on the 25th, so that's 1/6 of Shinhwa I'm going to see on this trip.

I've been sick last week and happy that I'm doing well now. I haven't had coffee for 2 weeks and so I'm totally looking forward to checking out cafes and eating strawberries on this trip.

Wish me and Meg unnie luck on the 25th! ♡

 
 
 
Nerissa ♥


New year, new resolutions to break! Ha.

I'm going to try my hardest to stick with my goals. There's not much really... just listing.

- I want to list my daily activities in a journal.
- Must be diligent listing my expenses. Gab and Meg are very good at this, they inspire me. I downloaded an app for this, hopefully (hopefully!!!) I stick to this plan. Maybe seeing how much money I spend will make me reflect at how my needs and wants.
- List all the books I read. Also, I want to read at least 30 books this year. My eyes are giving me trouble lately, I'll see if this is doable.
- cut back the procastination.
- try harder to be sociable. (It's so hard!)
- Give movies a chance. I'm more a drama person than a movie person. I should make a list of all the pending movies I said I'll watch. Any movie suggestions?

 
 
Nerissa ♥
30 December 2016 @ 05:07 pm
I didn't want my last post this year to be very negative so I'm posting again.

Despite the very very very shitty year 2016 has been around the world, I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. My family isn't particularly well off, but considering how many has lost their livelihood, their homes, their lives around the globe - I'm thankful to be in a place I am right now. There's just so many negativity around the world, so many what-the-actual-fuck things that happened that make me sad. Newt Scamander is right, humans can be such vicious creatures.

I'm entering a negative territory again.

So here I am, praying. Praying that the coming year is better for everyone around the globe. That we learn to find compassion. And that our leaders, bless them, finally use their brains and little morals they have to make changes that benefit all of us. Let's continue to love. We all need love.

Happy holidays, everyone. May gods bless us all.
 
 
Current Music: WE - Shinhwa